Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
