I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
