i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My balls are so social today.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
