He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
