Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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