I wish they made helmets for livers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
