i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
