He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize