Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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