4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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