have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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