Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
