ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
