I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
