I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
