how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize