So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
