cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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