I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
