omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
