You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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