i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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