i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
