I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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