If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
