You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Everclear isn't food dammit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
