Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
