i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
