i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
