ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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