Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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