I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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