I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
