The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
