The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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