Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
