guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its not stalking. its research.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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