you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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