Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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