If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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