The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
