he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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