On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
