Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
