I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize