Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
