Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
