Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
