Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
