Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
