I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
