did you get engaged???
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
