im about as happy as oj after his trial
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's the barista slut.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize