Non-Jews are for practice
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
