i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
