You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
