his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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