Small penises have feelings too.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
