I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
