I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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