batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
