So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
