It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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