There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
