I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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