we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
