The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize