Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
