just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
