OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
