Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
home. puking in laundry basket.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
