Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
